Leslie Nielsen Dick Steele Nicollette Sheridan Veronique Ukrinsky Charles Durning The Director Marcia Gay Harden Miss Cheevus Barry Bostwick Norman Coleman Andy Griffith General Rancor Stephanie Romanov Victoria / Barbara Dahl Talisa Soto Desiree More Robert Guillaume Agent Steve Bishop Carl Ciarfalio Thug #1 Keith Campbell Thug #2 Esau McKnight Skippy, Warrior on Cell Phone Taylor Negron Painter "Weird Al" Yankovic Himself Alex Trebek Agency Tape Recorder (Voice) Mr. T Helicopter Pilot Ray Charles Busdriver Joyce Brothers Steele's Tag Team Member Hulk Hogan Steele's Other Tag Team Member Pat Morita Brian, Waiter in Restaurant Elizabeth Kaitan Helicopter Ticket Agent Alexandra Paul Woman in Murphy Bed Michael Berryman Bus Patron with Oxygen Mask Eddie Deezen Rancor Guard Who Gets Spit On John Kassir Rancor Guard at Intercom John Ales Kabul Elya Baskin Professor Ukrinsky Mason Gamble McCluckey Carlos Lauchu Slice Roger Clinton, Jr. Agent Clinton Robert Culp Businessman Fabio Fabio Curtis Armstrong Pastry Chef Clyde Kusatsu Noggin Diane Klimaszewski Twin #1 Elaine Klimaszewski Twin #2 Rick Cramer Heimlich, Rancor Terrorist Brad Garrett Short Rancor Guard (Voice) Kelly Lange Kelly Lange Thuy Trang Manicurist Shari Shattuck Stewardess Downtown Julie Brown Cigarette Girl Katherine Moffat Agent Moffat